Psychologists reveal why people who talk to themselves out loud often make sharper decisions

Charlotte Reed • December 10, 2025 16:31

On a Tuesday morning train, a woman stares at her phone, lips moving just a fraction. “If I say yes to this job, I lose Fridays with the kids. If I say no, I’ll regret the money,” she whispers, barely above the hum of the carriage. A teenager across the aisle glances up, then looks away, headphones on. To most of us, she just looks stressed. To a psychologist, she is doing something quietly powerful: thinking with her voice.

We tend to assume that “hearing voices” is a warning sign and “talking to yourself” is faintly embarrassing. So we push our thoughts back inside our heads and try to look composed. Yet over the past decade, research from cognitive and sports psychology has been saying something different: under the right conditions, people who speak their thoughts out loud don’t look unhinged. They look effective.

What changes is not the content of their thoughts but the way the brain handles them. When you move from silent rumination to audible sentences, your decision-making becomes less foggy, less impulsive, and more structured. It is as if you’ve moved your inner monologue from a crowded, noisy room into a clear meeting with an agenda.

Psychologists now see out-loud self-talk not as a quirk to hide but as a tool to borrow. Used deliberately, it can help you sort priorities, resist pressure and spot the trapdoors in a decision before you step through them.

Why saying it out loud sharpens the mind

Silent thinking is fast and flexible, but it’s also slippery. Half-formed worries overlap, important facts vanish the moment you look away, emotions leak into judgments without announcing themselves. Out-loud self-talk slows this stream just enough to examine it.

When you speak, you force your brain to:

Choose words instead of vague impressions.
Put events in order (“First…, then…, finally…”).
Name feelings rather than swirl inside them.

Neuroscientists call this verbal externalisation. By moving thoughts from private, silent code into spoken language, you “pin” them to the world for a few moments. That act recruits extra brain systems-those used for speech, listening and error-checking-so your thinking is no longer handled by one overworked channel.

You also reduce the load on working memory. Instead of holding every piece of a problem in mind at once, you let your voice carry some of the weight. It’s the same reason people read recipes out loud or talk themselves through a tricky route: the mouth becomes an extra hand for the mind.

Key idea: when you talk to yourself, you don’t just hear your thoughts - you see their structure. That makes weak arguments and hidden assumptions easier to catch.

What psychologists notice when people talk to themselves

Psychologists distinguish between two broad forms of self-talk: the spiralling, critical chatter that leaves you stuck, and the task-focused, coaching style that clarifies what to do next.

The “coach” versus the “critic”

The research-heavy version of this sits in journals, but it translates simply in daily life:

Instructional self-talk
You give yourself step-by-step guidance.
“Right: email HR, check contract, then call Mum this evening.”
Motivational self-talk
You encourage yourself to act.
“You’ve handled worse than this. One phone call, then you’re done.”
Evaluative self-talk
You weigh options out loud.
“If I take the cheaper flat, I can travel more. If I don’t, I get quiet and light.”

Studies in sport show that athletes using out-loud self-instructions perform more consistently under pressure. Clinical and cognitive research echoes this in more ordinary settings: people who are encouraged to verbalise their thought process while solving complex tasks tend to make fewer careless errors.

Crucially, psychologists also see something subtler: spoken self-talk creates psychological distance. Many people naturally slip into the second person (“you”) or even their own name. Instead of “I’m useless at interviews,” they say, “You’ve prepared; stick to your points, Tom.”

That small shift does three things:

Cools hot emotions, like a friend stepping between you and a bad decision.
Helps you judge your own situation as if it belonged to someone else.
Makes solutions easier to spot because you’re no longer fused with the fear.

How to use out-loud self-talk as a decision tool

You don’t need a therapy room or a whiteboard. You need a few quiet seconds, a willingness to sound a bit odd, and a simple script.

A three-step micro-method

Name the real question
Instead of “Everything is a mess,” say:
“The decision I actually need to make is: do I accept this project or turn it down?”
Lay out the pieces
Speak in short, declarative sentences:
“If I say yes, I gain X. If I say no, I protect Y. The deadline is Z. My energy level right now is low.”
Switch to “outside adviser” mode
Change pronoun or use your name:
“What would you tell a friend in this exact situation?”
Or: “Saira, you’re scared of disappointing people, not of the work. Decide based on the work.”

Saying these lines out loud forces you to untangle three strands: facts, fears and values. Decisions become sharper when those are not knotted together.

Phrases that help your brain, not your anxiety

Certain formulations give your thinking more traction than others:

“What are three realistic options here?”
“What is the worst likely outcome, not the worst imaginable one?”
“What matters most to future me in this decision?”
“What information am I still missing?”

You can whisper these at your desk, mutter them in the car or record them as voice notes on a walk. The point is not volume, but audibility-enough that your ears, not just your mind, receive the message.

Useful types of self-talk (and concrete examples)

Type of self-talk	When it helps	Example out-loud phrase
Instructional	Complex tasks, high pressure	“First open the file, then check the figures, then write the summary.”
Motivational	Procrastination, self-doubt	“Start the email. It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to exist.”
Evaluative	Weighing options	“If I choose A, I gain time; if I choose B, I gain security.”
Self-distanced	High emotion, conflict	“What would you advise Jamie if it were their dilemma?”

You don’t have to use all four. Many people find that just switching from “I’m overwhelmed” to “You’re overwhelmed but not helpless; pick one next move” changes their day.

Making self-talk feel normal, not awkward

The biggest obstacle is not science; it’s self-consciousness. We’ve been trained to see audible inner life as a social mistake. Yet you already talk to yourself more than you think-during parking manoeuvres, while cooking, when searching for keys. You are simply more forgiving of those moments.

A few practical tweaks can make deliberate self-talk easier to adopt:

Pair it with a prop
Hold a mug, notebook or phone, as if you’re rehearsing for a call. Your brain relaxes when the behaviour “fits” the setting.
Choose “private pockets”
Stairwells, parked cars, showers, dog walks and empty meeting rooms are classic spaces. Even ten spoken seconds can shift a decision.
Keep it brief and concrete
Rambling aloud can slide into rumination. Aim for short, purposeful sentences that end with a tiny action: “Send the email”, “Say no”, “Ask for two days to think.”

Let’s be honest: nobody is watching you as closely as you imagine. Most people are too busy rehearsing their internal script to worry about yours.

When self-talk is a warning sign, not a skill

Not all out-loud speech is helpful, and psychologists are clear about the difference. The kind of self-talk linked to sharper decisions is:

Voluntary: you can start and stop it.
Recognisably your own voice and thoughts.
Focused on tasks, choices or feelings in front of you.

You should consider speaking to a professional if:

You hear voices that feel separate from you or give commands you can’t resist.
Your spoken self-talk is relentlessly abusive and leaves you feeling unsafe.
You find yourself talking aloud compulsively for long periods, feeling out of control.

In those cases, the issue isn’t the talking; it’s the distress underneath it. Support exists precisely so you don’t have to handle that alone.

Building a quiet habit with loud benefits

Like any cognitive tool, out-loud self-talk works best when it becomes a light routine rather than a last resort. Many people find that choosing one moment each day-before opening email, while closing their laptop, or during the walk home-to ask, out loud, “What actually matters for me today?” keeps their decisions aligned with their values rather than their inbox.

Done well, this isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about giving your existing mind a clearer channel. You don’t need a new personality, just a slightly braver willingness to hear yourself think.

FAQ:

Is talking to myself out loud always a sign of good mental health?
Not necessarily. Functional self-talk is voluntary, brief and focused on tasks or choices. If your out-loud speech feels out of control, hostile or disconnected from reality, it’s important to seek professional advice.

Is out-loud self-talk better than journalling?
They serve different roles. Speaking is faster and more responsive in the moment; writing creates a record you can review. Many people benefit from using both, especially for major decisions.

Does it still work if I only whisper?
Yes. The key is that you can hear yourself clearly enough to engage listening and speech systems in the brain. A quiet murmur in a private space is usually sufficient.

Can I use self-talk with children or teenagers?
Absolutely. Modelling calm, step-by-step self-talk (“Okay, homework first, then game time”) helps them learn how to organise their own thinking. Just keep the tone kind rather than critical.

What if I feel ridiculous doing it?
Start small and specific-ten seconds in a private space before a decision you already care about. The usefulness tends to override the awkwardness once you see a concrete choice become clearer.